Added by on November 5, 2018

When three of Britains fastest men were brought together at Nikes secret Shoreditch bunker recently, it sounded like the perfect opportunity to splice up some DNA and harvest a crop of top-of-the-range athletes. That didnt happen, obviously, but cyclist Mark Cavendish, England and Harlequins winger Ugo Monye and sprinter Harry Aikines-Aryeetey did sit down to discuss speeding tickets, running away from dogs and how Theo Walcott might be full of bull

FHM: So, whos got the most speeding tickets?

Aikines: Ive got one speeding ticket.

Monye: Ive never had a speeding ticket.

Cavendish: Im so aggressive when Im competing, I just like to chill out when I get in the car.

Monye: But its weird that athletes have a higher insurance because supposedly we drive faster and in faster cars.

Cavendish: Yeah, but your job is hand-eye co-ordination. Your job is quick reflexes. Youre better qualified to drive! My job is pace judgement, distance judgement and spatial awareness; exactly the same as driving. How did you guys first know you were fast?

Aikines: I ran away from a dog. We were playing British Bulldog when we were younger. To be honest, I was quite short and weeny then. But this little dog came along. I didnt really understand dogs back then, so I just legged it. And all my mates said: Youre kind of fast. But I didnt really do much about it until secondary school when I got down to the track and started training.

Monye: I was born in Islington and I just loved football. I just wanted to be a footballer. But I changed schools at 13 and went to a private school where they didnt play football. But it took off from there. I just got on the pitch, they saw I had pace, so they stuck me on the wing. I couldnt catch a ball still cant now but I turned out to be quite decent.

Cavendish: How fast could you run the 100m?

Monye: I ran 10.6.

Aikines: Theo Walcott claims he can run 10.3.

Monye: I reckon we should have a race. But footballers are different because theyve got nothing on them.

Aikines: Yeah, but if you watch Cristiano Ronaldo run, whos supposed to be fast, he runs fine for the first 40m, but then her overrotates and his legs just go behind him. I think footballers would be great over the first 60m, but 100m is much more difficult for them to maintain that pace.

Monye: I once did an unofficial 10.33, but Id back myself against Theo Walcott over 100m.

Aikines: Get the bookies out! Thats the thing about being a sportsman. You have to be slightly arrogant.

Cavendish: But people only ever ask you what you can do, nobody asks you what you cant do. Thats why you’re always perceived to be arrogant.

Monye: Yeah, thats true, but if you got to the line without any confidence, youve lost already.