When three of Britains fastest men were brought together at Nikes secret Shoreditch bunker recently, it sounded like the perfect opportunity to splice up some DNA and harvest a crop of top-of-the-range athletes. That didnt happen, obviously, but cyclist Mark Cavendish, England and Harlequins winger Ugo Monye and sprinter Harry Aikines-Aryeetey did sit down to discuss speeding tickets, running away from dogs and how Theo Walcott might be full of bull
FHM: So, whos got the most speeding tickets?
Aikines: Ive got one speeding ticket.
Monye: Ive never had a speeding ticket.
Cavendish: Im so aggressive when Im competing, I just like to chill out when I get in the car.
Monye: But its weird that athletes have a higher insurance because supposedly we drive faster and in faster cars.
Cavendish: Yeah, but your job is hand-eye co-ordination. Your job is quick reflexes. Youre better qualified to drive! My job is pace judgement, distance judgement and spatial awareness; exactly the same as driving. How did you guys first know you were fast?
Aikines: I ran away from a dog. We were playing British Bulldog when we were younger. To be honest, I was quite short and weeny then. But this little dog came along. I didnt really understand dogs back then, so I just legged it. And all my mates said: Youre kind of fast. But I didnt really do much about it until secondary school when I got down to the track and started training.
Monye: I was born in Islington and I just loved football. I just wanted to be a footballer. But I changed schools at 13 and went to a private school where they didnt play football. But it took off from there. I just got on the pitch, they saw I had pace, so they stuck me on the wing. I couldnt catch a ball still cant now but I turned out to be quite decent.
Cavendish: How fast could you run the 100m?
Monye: I ran 10.6.
Aikines: Theo Walcott claims he can run 10.3.
Monye: I reckon we should have a race. But footballers are different because theyve got nothing on them.
Aikines: Yeah, but if you watch Cristiano Ronaldo run, whos supposed to be fast, he runs fine for the first 40m, but then her overrotates and his legs just go behind him. I think footballers would be great over the first 60m, but 100m is much more difficult for them to maintain that pace.
Monye: I once did an unofficial 10.33, but Id back myself against Theo Walcott over 100m.
Aikines: Get the bookies out! Thats the thing about being a sportsman. You have to be slightly arrogant.
Cavendish: But people only ever ask you what you can do, nobody asks you what you cant do. Thats why you’re always perceived to be arrogant.
Monye: Yeah, thats true, but if you got to the line without any confidence, youve lost already.